Borders Hates Trees, Smug Yuppie Geeks
Logging, anyone?
I just got back from Borders in Pitt St, Sydney where I tried to use this coupon to get 35% off a copy of Malcolm Gladwell’s latest book, Outliers. Before I left work for some late-night shopping I’d considered printing the coupon as supposedly required, but then thought no - I would make a statement.
Rocking up to the counter I handed over the book along with my greasy iPhone displaying a zoomed-in view of the coupon’s barcode. With a wink and a winning smile I was saving paper and leading society into its wireless future!
The tired woman at the counter wasn’t nearly as impressed as I was. She blinked, then explained in a well-rehearsed monotone that, ”as stipulated on the coupon we can only accept printed versions”. For this I was ready with a rehearsed response of my own. “So what’s the difference?” I inquired as casually as I could, confident in the power of my enlightened eco-rhetoric to blow her mind wide open.
“We need it on the paper because we count them by hand.”
Yep. Apparently they scan the barcodes onto their computers, but for some reason don’t record a count of how many times they’ve done that. Long story short, I left speechless and bookless. I did not have a canned response for this, nor could I express a sufficient amount of outrage at the time. Luckily, Al Gore invented the internet for this very purpose.
As a frequent slave to the retail world, I sympathize with the cashier. It’s all about accountability. Having paper coupons means having proof that you (as the clerk) didn’t just take the money from the customer and push the coupon button on the register, pocketing the cash. I’ll admit it, I’ve done things like it before.
No argument that Borders hates trees though. I mean, look at all those bound scraps of timber flesh they peddle out and display so proudly in their windows.
A later thought: they use imitation leather for covers but real trees for paper. What’s with that?
I think you’re on to something there. Instead of dumping old plastic Christmas trees we could recycle them into a green, waxy paper-like substance.
“I’d considered printing the coupon as supposedly required, but then thought no – I would make a statement.” This is why you deserved to leave speechless and bookless.
“I was saving paper and leading society into its wireless future!” Maybe you should have used your greasy iPhone to order the Kindle version of the book through Amazon.
Besides, we have to get the trees before the trees get us. Didn’t you see The Happening?
Oh, right. Well, the twelve people who did see it know what lumberjacks have known for centuries: trees are our oldest foe.
@Zack
It wasn’t just a paper coupon / coupon button arrangement though – the cashier had to scan a (presumably unique) barcode, provided by the customer. Although I guess manually counting them would make it harder for anyone to pull an intricately prepared borders discount coupon barcode keygen scam.
Actually Daniel, the barcodes are not unique. Each single promotion has its own code, but each code is the same for all recipients.